There are ten things that I think you should know about me.

  1. I’ve been doing phone sex work for ten years. You may not recognize the face but the voice is familiar, I’m sure.
  2. I’m Bostonian. That includes the attitude, the sarcasm, the devotion, and the ability to stay silent about anything I may or may not have seen/heard.
  3. I am powered entirely by coffee, wine, and sarcasm.
  4. I’m not as mean as you might have heard … I promise.
  5. I can be bribed … coffee is your best option. Dunkin Donuts, in particular.
  6. I’m meaner than you’ve heard.
  7. I am, at any given point, silly, vicious, kind, humiliating, sarcastic, and funny.
  8. No, you will never see my wife so stop asking.
  9. I have exactly zero compulsion to allow you to cum.
  10. There’s a lie in here somewhere. Figure it out and I’ll comp you a custom audio of your choice, up to five minutes. To redeem, mention it at the beginning of the call.
    1. Applicable to first call with me
    2. Redeemable once per person (I don’t care how many different names you use. I know voices.)
    3. Winner must provide at least the structure of the audio, if not the direct story line/script.

Wow, that’s a lot of information, isn’t it?


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