Slut shaming happens every single day. I’d even wager a bet that you have slut shamed in the past but I’m willing to hope you didn’t do it intentionally. I’ll address intentional slut shaming as well (you might take a moment to check and see if your panties are flame retardant).
What is slut shaming
If you ask ten people, you’re likely to get at least nine different answers. For simplicity’s sake, we’re going to use the following definition, based on the original definition found at dictionary.com
To publicly humiliate or shame a person for engaging in behavior judged to be promiscuous or sexually provocative.
Five slut shaming habits to be aware of
Keep in mind that you may not be doing this intentionally. I’ve become more aware of how I speak to people over the last few years because I realized I was inadvertently shaming people with my actions and my verbiage. And if I can learn to fix how I say things, I’m sure you can as well.
- ‘You’re so fuckin gay.’ Slut shaming someone’s sexuality
- ‘You aren’t really gay if you’re fucking guys for pay.’ Slut shaming someone’s career choices
- ‘You’re a whore!’ (said maliciously) Do i even need to point out what kind of shaming this is
- Harassing the fans of a star you don’t watch/Harassing the star themselves
- Hello libel, my old friend
Obvious versus invisible shaming (fire retardant required)
Most people go through their lives without realizing they are doing something that hurts someone else. This is because most people aren’t really malicious. And if you point out to them they are doing something to hurt another individual, they will typically change their behaviour. Or at least, we’ll put a damn good effort into it. If you recognize any of the phrases from above, or have participated in any behaviours listed above, now you know and you can take steps to avoid it in the future.
Oh for you, there’s a special place in my heart. The people who go out of their way to intentionally shame someone; the ones who use it like a weapon on social media. The people who know what they are saying and doing is disrespectful, shameful, and rude but just don’t care. This can be anything from stealing porn to open, malicious attacks against stars.
Recently, I had four people that I consider to be good friends who were attacked by trolls looking to just make them feel bad about themselves. They weren’t contributing to an ongoing conversation, they simply barged into someone else’s thread and insulted, attacked, and belittled these individuals. Why? Because they could. Because social media gives people a voice; one that can be used for good or for harm.
Support Not Shame
Whether you enjoy gay porn, straight porn, no porn, or all the porn. Whether you know a star or just follow them on social media. If you have a friend who insults people and shames them. SAY SOMETHING! Tell the person what they are doing is wrong. You don’t even have to like porn! These shaming techniques can be used against anyone (myself included!) and it’s each of our responsibilities to make sure we don’t tolerate it.